


Serendipity

by ilyhyuckie



Category: GOT7
Genre: Character Death, Cheating, Love, M/M, Minor GOT7 (Ensemble), NOT FOR THE WEAK HEARTED, Sad Ending, Tragic Romance, Unrequited Love, Weddings, a mess, its really sad, people hate me for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-29 00:48:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15061397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilyhyuckie/pseuds/ilyhyuckie
Summary: In which Youngjae could write millions of pages of why Jaebum was beautiful.But Jaebum could only write millions of pages of why Jinyoung was beautiful.





	1. Serendipity

**Author's Note:**

> The title is supposed to be like ironic :0. Warning triggering stuff for depression and suicide.  
> Thought this was gonna be a happy ending, until this mess happened.  
> This has been sitting in my drafts for the longest so I posted this on Wattpad and Ao3.

**When you hold me in the street**  
**And you kiss me on the dance floor**  
**I wish that it could be like that**  
**Why can't it be like that?**  
**'Cause I'm yours**

Youngjae was heart broke, he was carrying such a heavy heart, he wanted to cry he wanted to let it all out and he couldn't they wouldn't understand they'd never understand.

When JYP had asked him if he wanted to perform a solo song for their concert Youngjae hesitated, he would already by doing the duet with Jaebum yet after a while he took the offer deciding that this would be a great opportunity for him to express his heart.

**We keep behind closed doors**  
**Every time I see you, I die a little more**  
**Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls**  
**It'll never be enough**

He set to work pouring his whole heart into this one song, one song that would reveal his heart to everyone who heard it.

He wrote about the meaningless touches and laughs the lingering hands, far to close whispering in each other's ear. How he wished just wished for it o be more.

Yet it would what would he get from it, nothing. No one would ever know who he was pouring his heart out to, yet he did he poured his heart heart out on the piano finding the right notes to play and correct words to say.

**It's obvious you're meant for me**  
**Every piece of you, it just fits perfectly**  
**Every second, every thought, I'm in so deep**  
**But I'll never show it on my face**  
**But we know this.**  
**We got a love that is homeless**

He was determined to play the piano at the concert, determined to get his message out there, even though vaguely, about how he felt, it didn't matter if they asked who it was about.

It didn't matter if that person he was sing for —to— understood it, knew who he was singing about, he didn't care if they reciprocated his feelings he needed it to get off his chest.

It had been conveniently set aside since 2 years ago so long ago, he thought he might explode.

**Why can't you hold me in the street?**  
**Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?**  
**I wish that it could be like that**  
**Why can't we be like that?**  
**'Cause I'm yours**

He wanted to be his and he wanted him to be his, but he didn't think the other felt the same, the other didn't have this pang in their chest, a longing for something more, when he wanted to cry all he could do was laugh and smile and be happy Jaebum was happy with Jinyoung.

He didn't want to mess the groups dynamic up, but he was on a emotional rocket, he knew this would help lift his heavy heart at least only an inch.

**When you're with him, do you call his name**  
**Like you do when you're with me? Does it feel the same?**  
**Would you leave if I was ready to settle down**  
**Or would you play it safe and stay?**  
**Boy, you know this.**  
**We got a love that is hopeless**

Youngjae wanted to be the center of his heart wanted to be there in his ups and downs, his best days and his worst. He knew he Jaebum already had someone for those days though.

The way he acted with jinyoung talking with him more, hugging him more, completely involved in his small world with Jinyoung, one he wasn't allowed into and it hurt. It hurt so bad.

**Why can't you hold me in the street?**  
**Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?**  
**I wish that it could be like that**  
**Why can't we be like that?**  
**'Cause I'm yours**

Youngjae sang the song at the concert.

He poured his everything into it.

He sang about it all. Choking on big tears that ran down his face unable to go on.

He could hear the screams of fans some worried and some awwing not even knowing the song was written to his very own leader.

The camera was on him filming him crying as the song went on microphone clutched in his lap head down and his hair slightly matted to his forehead from the heated air in the arena.

The members rushed on stage as soon as the song had ended comforting a crying Youngjae until he met eyes with jaebum who wasn't smiling

No one asked who the song was about, they didn't need to —they didn't want to—.

it was ok for now.

But that's just it.

It's not ok.

**Why can't I hold you in the street?**  
**Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?**  
**I wish that we could be like that**  
**Why can't we be like that?**  
**'Cause I'm yours, I'm yours**

The lyrics ran over and over in his head, he was quiet for the rest of the concert.

Not saying anything more or less, all through it he could feel Jaebum's gaze and he wanted to cry more.

He knew.

And he hated it that Jaebum knew.

He couldn't help but feel another pang of heart ache stopping himself from crying again in front of everyone as Jaebum wrapped his arms around Jinyoung and occasionally holding his hand tight.

**Why can't I say that I'm in love?**  
**I wanna shout it from the rooftop**  
**I wish that it could be like that**  
**Why can't we be like that?**  
**'Cause I'm yours**

He wanted Jaebum, he wanted him to love him back like he loved him, but it wasn't like the movies and he was in love with Jaebum, but jaebum seemed to be in love with Jinyoung and it wasn't fair.

To him it just wasn't fair.

That night he went to bed without eating

He was hungry but not for food.

Why can't we be like that?  
Wish we could be like that

And he cried into then hotel pillow because nothing was ever fair.

-

It hadn't been till Jaebum and Jinyoung announced to the public they were dating that Youngjae had thought maybe it was him all along.

He was too fat, he surely didn't have the nice build Jinyoung had, didn't have the attractive eye smile Jinyoung did. Didn't have as sultry of a voice as Jinyoung, a nice mom aura to him that the other boy didn't seemed to have.

It hadn't been till Jaebum and Jinyoung announced to the public that they were getting married, that Youngjae really thought about his purpose in life.

None, there was no purpose for his life.

Jaebum had pulled Youngjae into Jaebum's and Jinyoung's shared room, Youngjae deciding to take Jinyoung's old room.

Jaebum had told him that he had proposed and that Youngjae was first to know. He swallowed the lump in his throat and tears threatening to drop but forced a bright smile and congratulated Jaebum on his new found relationship.

Not till many months after Got7's 8th year anniversary had they disbanded, Jinyoung and Jaebum set to marry a month later.

He had gotten the stupid invitation, in person hand delivered by Jinyoung.

He should've been happy knowing his two best friends would marry and have a happy life together.

He tried to be happy for them knowing Jaebum was content and so was Jinyoung, there was plenty of guys and girls out there for Youngjae to meet.

But none of them were Jaebum.

It came as a big shocker when ex-Got7 member and current multi-talented solo artist, Youngjae, jumped off of Mapo Bridge, two days before Jaebum's wedding.

Although in grief and regret of the lost of their dearest friend, they didn't postpone the wedding, they had already waited a year and they felt as if they were running out of time.

Jinyoung had told jaebum, "Youngjae would've wanted us to continue the wedding without him."

Jaebum nodded a sickening feeling the back of his throat.

On the wedding day, mark had given Jaebum a letter. It was a letter from Youngjae.

He broke down crying right in the middle of the room. slumping forward in his chair hands buried in his head.

Jinyoung rushing towards him in an attempt to soothe his soon to be husband.

Jinyoung had taken the letter out of his grasp, Looking in horror, agony, pain and sadness at the 5 words.

 

 

 

 

'I love you, Im Jaebum.'


	2. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because u didn't want to leave it off like that here we go.

It hadn't been till the after the after party had Mark really beat the shit out of Jaebum.

Mark was a quiet guy observant more than anything he seemed to contrast with Youngjae's used to be loud boisterous self.

He had come to love Youngjae so much, he would've had treated him better than Jaebum would've been more sweeter. delicate, cradled him in his arms and showered him with love not even he had ever known.

Mark loved Youngjae.

Youngjae loved Jaebum.

Jaebum loved Jinyoung.

That was complication number one.

-

If it was down to Mark, he would've jumped for him, in a second, heartbeat, millisecond. Anything, everything, whatever it was he would've done it, no questions needed.

Mark had dragged Jaebum outside and thrown him against the brick wall outback

Screamed in agony, cried in lose of love.

Jaebum had broke down too after mark's fist connected with his cheek bone. He realized just how much he fucked up.

Jaebum didn't realize how hurt Youngjae was he didn't confront him after the concert.

But he knew god damn it.

He knew Youngjae loved him.

He didn't ask, he never asked.

He was afraid.

He was the reason Youngjae died.

It was his fault.

He should've been a better leader, a better friend.

Best friend.

He was the cause of his best friend jumping off a bridge, and he hadn't stop him, no one did. No one had known.

Jaebum regretted it, he felt sorrow from the deep narrows of his bones.

He didn't know why Mark was more angrier than him. Maybe he did, in the back of his head he did.

Mark loved Youngjae.

It made him more regretful, how could he not have noticed these little things as a leader he had failed, as a lover, as a friend, he had failed.

They would never ever get to see Youngjae's bright smile hear his loud, slightly obnoxious, endearing laugh.

Jaebum felt numb as Mark hit him again.

"Why! Why! He's gone Jaebum. GONE. It's your fault Jaebum, it's your- it's- your fucking fault, I loved him so much!"

The leader hadn't realized how much of an impact he had on the boy. He ruined both of their lives both Youngjae and Mark, and now, Jinyoung.

He regretted marrying Jinyoung.

He shouldn't.

It's his wedding day. He should be forgetting about this and having fun with his husband. But he's not. He's mourning over his best friend.

That was complication number two.

-

Of course Jaebum loved Jinyoung, he was the one who proposed, he wanted this right? To start a family with the younger boy and to wake up beside him everyday in bliss. Right? Right?

No.

He only felt numbness as the party came to an end plastering on a fake smile as Jinyoung came to shower kisses over Jaebum's face.

Arriving at their apartment Jinyoung dragging him into the elevator and down the hallway to their door. Once they got into their bedroom they kissed passionately (more like Jinyoung kissed him passionately and Jaebum slightly reciprocated it)

"I want you Jaebum, will you have me?"

Jaebum swallowed but in guilt. No he didn't want Jinyoung he wanted Youngjae.

As Jinyoung pushed him back onto the bed, the younger climbed onto him and latched onto his neck.

It was dark and Jaebum swore he could slightly make out Youngjae's reflection in the mirror to the side of their bed.

They stared at each other, Jaebum blinking and opening his eyes again to be greeted with nothing the feeling of Jinyoung's hand unclothing him and his mouth lowering in his body, finally engulfing his soft cock.

Jaebum just stayed blankly looking up at the white darkened ceiling.

-

Jinyoung cheated.

It had been a year since Youngjae parted from this world almost a year since Jaebum had married Jinyoung.

It was the one year anniversary of Youngjae's death, Jaebum kneeling beside the grave of his dead ex group member.

Jinyoung had left early saying his company had called him in and he needed to work on something in the studio, after laying down a fresh bouquet of Alstroemerias which supposedly meant friendship.

Jinyoung seemed to be working a lot of extra shifts lately, and for whatever reason Jaebum believed him.

Jinyoung knew how long Jaebum stayed by the grave they would arrive usually at 12 pm and Jaebum refused to leave till around 7 pm.

He took advantage of that.

Jaebum decided to return around 5, deciding to spend more time with his husband, their relationship had started falling apart when they stopped having regular sex around 4 months ago.

When Jaebum walked into his bedroom and saw Jinyoung under some nobody kissing passionately, numbness spread through his body.

When they finally realized they weren't alone. Anger coursed through him realizing that the nobody Jinyoung was with was Jackson.

Jackson had been Jaebum's best man and he went and did this.

"Jaebum! Let me expl-" Jinyoung began, pushing a dazed Jackson off him

"How long." Jaebum cut off.

"Huh?"

Jackson sat there, head hung in shame as Jinyoung was on the verge of tears.

"How. long. have you been cheating." Jaebum said gritting his teeth and stressing every word.

Jinyoung stumbled over his words not finding the right words to say.

"Please Jaebum, Don't be like this, I love y-"

"5 months, Jaebum," Jackson spoke up.

"We've been cheating for 5 months." He continued.

Jinyoung look at Jackson in disbelief.

"Are you trying to ruin my marriage!" Screamed a crying Jinyoung.

"You did that by yourself." Both Jaebum and Jackson said simultaneously.

Jinyoung turned with disbelief at Jackson who still had his head lowered.

"You came on to me, Jinyoung. You said that Your relationship with Jinyoung was getting dry."Jackson murmured

Jaebum looked at Jackson with slight gratitude but still with anger.

"I've been loyal and faithful, I put my heart in this relationship, to make it work!" Jaebum spat.

Jinyoung let the free tears fall.

"You don't love me though." Jinyoung sighed.

"What?"

"You don't love me, Jaebum, you love Youngjae." Jinyoung said louder clenching his hands together.

Jaebum stayed quiet expression softening.

"I do love him him, but I do love you to, just a different kind of love, I'm sorry, I-I thought we were doing the right thing, I swear to god when I proposed I loved you the most, but when Youngjae died I realized part of me has always loved him, I knew he liked me but I thought I was doing the right thing marrying you."

"I just wanted a happily ever after." Jinyoung whispered.

"Don't worry you'll get yours one day."

-

After that, Jinyoung and Jackson started dating he seemed much happier than he ever was with Jaebum, but to be honest Jaebum was okay with that.

But now he was alone in a cold empty house.

He said he would never let his thoughts consume him or let himself fall into depression but he seemed to be doing a lot of that lately, he could only imagine how Mark felt.

Yugyeom had told him that when Bambam and him had visited Mark was drowned in depression his apartment was a mess and hadn't gone out in a couple days, he had taken a hiatus on his solo rapper career and didn't seem like he was gonna be back on track.

Mark had been starving himself, he didn't have a appetite at all he was getting skinnier and sicker by the day but he didn't care if he died he would get to be with Youngjae who he hoped was watching over him, he had resisted the urge to cut as he'd been clean for almost 10 yrs, he had stopped cutting before he debuted in Got7, the only reason he didn't cut was because of Youngjae, when they were trainees Youngjae had been the one to find out about his problem and help in through it but now he was gone.

Mark knew right from wrong so he resisted the urge to cut, he scratched his forearm in an attempt to easy the itch in his skin, all the marks faded from 10 yrs ago except one that will probably be scarred forever.

Instead of cutting he resorted to taking many pills of the prescribed antidepressants.

If he had too many it could kill him but again, he frankly didn't care, he needed the pain gone whether it was from the medicine or death.

And death it was.

Even if most of their fans had moved on from the legendary group Got7, they were still in there hearts and would forever be their favorite band even if they did disband.

So after Mark's company had made a statement saying that Mark had overdosed, Jaebum almost killed himself too.

First Youngjae, now Mark, there was only 5 members left of the ex group, and he probably killed them both, It was his fault Youngjae had died and it caused a domino effect so technically Mark's death was Jaebum's fault too.

Jaebum decided to take a Hiatus, so did all the remaining members of Got7, the funeral was depressing to say the least. Jaebum and the rest of his ex memebers had made speeches like when they attended Youngjae's funeral.

Yugyeom and Bambam seemed to be the best in shape out of all the boys, their little girl was sitting in Yugyeom's lap throughout the service, Jaebum wished he had that, a happy family.

He would never get that would he.

He almost thought of killing himself like Mark to be with Youngjae, but no matter how much he wanted to, he just couldn't.

It was a couple months after Mark's death, Yugyeom, Bambam, and Jinyoung had gone back to working in music, Jackson was not as good as the rest, Mark had been his best friend they had been since trainee days and he couldn't believe his best friend was gone but he slowly came to terms with it.

Jaebum was last to go back to working, sometimes he laid in his bed staring at his bleak ceiling, he liked it when it rained and wasn't all sunshines it felt like nature felt his emotions in those moments.

-

Jaebum swore to god he saw Youngjae and Mark in the cafe across the street but when we went to go run to them a truck came blocking his view and once it passed they were gone, Jaebum's brain was a confused messed.

Ever since that moment Jaebum would see the two everywhere but they would be gone before the blink of an eye most of the time they were laughing, talking doing normal things they most likely would do together.

It was like although Jaebum's heart came to terms with the fact they were both dead even if it ached and was bruised and battered due to all the emotional trauma his mind was not ok with the fact they were gone, probably creating illusions that they were there.

Jaebum refused to see a therapist, refused to get better, his ex-members cried and screamed at him to get help not not let himself become like Mark and Youngjae.

Dead.

But Jaebum truly didn't care anymore.

Maybe that's why he didn't see the truck coming as he crossed the street, dazed, caught up in his thoughts.

He didn't even feel the pain until his body hit the floor but even then it was numb and when his head collided with the harsh road ground he world went blank.

When Jaebum came to, he didn't actually come to, more like he was trapped in a black space by himself, all alone.

a white light, he couldn't comprehend what it was or where he was but he walked towards it anyway, hearing noises he turned around to the sight of Mark and Youngjae once more, but this time it was much earlier in their career shown by their different looks, the scene was a playground the one right by the JYP building they used to visit all as a group.

They were playing and messing around till they noticed him, youngjae stopped what he was doing and smiled, "come over here, Jaebum, what are you doing so far away."

Jaebum was confused as he was going to step towards him he was being dragged towards the light.

He didn't know what was going on he tried and tried to move towards them but it was like someone had a hold on him.

"Wake up, Jaebum."

Jaebum shook his head.

"Wake. Up."

He shook his head again not totally understanding.

When Jaebum focused again Youngjae and Mark weren't there anymore like the voice scared them away.

So instead he walked towards the light.

As he drew nearer he could hear voices some were crying some were calling out to him. He finally reached the bright light and fell.

-

Jaebum's eyes burned as he opened them slowly wincing as the bright hospital lights shone into his face.

He opened his eyes fully looking around to see a sad Jackson comforting a crying Jinyoung and Bambam and Yugyeom cradling their little girl looking worried out of their minds.

Jaebum laid there for a while listening to the wailing cries of Jinyoung and finally getting tired of it he spoke up.

"Jinyoung, can you please stop crying so much? You're hurting my ears terribly." Jaebum's voice was raspy like he hadn't used it for days maybe even weeks.

All of the heads in the room snapped to his form laying on the bed immediately rushing to his side as he tried to sit up but too weak to manage on his own.

Jaebum was pretty bandaged up most likely from being hit.

Jinyoung wiped his tears with his shirt sleeves, he looked a mess.

"Im Jaebum, never scare us like this again, we thought we had lost another member."

Jaebum looked around, he heart was swimming in guilt all of them were probably so worried.

Jaebum was grateful for the people placed in his life, and the things that happened not everything was a walk in the park but he was nevertheless grateful.

Jaebum realized although people that were important to him and he wanted to be with were dead, he still had people that he loved and cared for, alive.

He was never truly gonna be alone in the world and people were always gonna be there watching over him.

Jaebum glances out side the window, snow falling as it was the beginning of winter. He could see the faint silhouettes of Mark and Youngjae as they were playing in the snow, he could see their wings and watched as their silhouettes floated up into the sky.

Jaebum smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REQUESTS?

**Author's Note:**

> REQUESTS?


End file.
